A Soldier Looking For Forgiveness... - Richard's Ramblings

Before I go into this story, let me preface this with some history about me.  This is going to be a very personal post revealing something that I’ve told very few people in the last 15 years.  Why am I spreading this online now instead of keeping it a secret? Well, I had a good talk with Pastor Steve about this and made a few realizations about it.

1. What I was seeing wasn’t dreams, but memories.
2. Not my memories, but someone else’s begging to be heard.
3. When I figured out I was suppose to tell the stories, I had a huge feeling of relief.

For the past 15 years, ever since dating an “adventurous” girl named Tiffany (last name withheld to protect the guilty. ), I started noticing things around me.  Not items things, but spiritual things.  Yes, actual ghosts and demons.  I found that if I meditated a bit and concentrated, I could sense what they were saying.  How do I know I wasn’t crazy? Well, I’ve described what people look like to other.  Not people I’ve met, but people that passed many years before. Even passed on a few personal messages.  There was even a time when I was dropping off my friend Elric, and while talking to him about it, sensed hundreds of sprits who have died various ways.  Shootings, old age, fires, collapses, diseases, etc.  Some were hundreds of years old begging just to be recognized.  That same night, I also quoted Revelations completely in graphic detail…with never having read it even once.

Can I do this on demand? Not really.  Although it does explain why I haven’t dreamt in a long while.

Now for the story.

This one is about 12 years old and just now being told.  I only ever had it once and it’s only gotten clearer as time progressed.

A solider is patrolling with his platoon in Vietnam. It’s raining, dark, and otherwise just not a place he wants to be.  He keeps thinking about how much he wants to be home with his girl.  As they are patrolling, he spots movement in the distance, but they doesn’t hear the noise the creature is making.  He points his gun into the distance and takes the best aim he can.  As the movement gets closer to an clear opening, and a clean shot), he preps to shoot.  He sees what looks like a body, shoots, and the bullet makes contact.  A split second later he sees a woman falling down with a surprised look on her face.  He approaches the her to get a better idea of what was going on.  Upon investigating, he realized he killed an innocent village woman.

The soldier in question has been asking for forgiveness since that day, even after his death.

At this point, the dream flashes white and repeats in the view point of the mother.  Although I don’t know what she is saying, she is searching for her son. She knows their are patrols coming and doesn’t want her son to be captured.  As she moves through the trees and brush quietly calling for her son, she doesn’t realize she is near a patrol.  Upon passing the clearing, she hears a shot.  By the time she can turn her head in the direction, she feels what feels like a punch on her chest and a burning sensation.  She trips and falls. The last few seconds before she passes on, she feels the warmth of blood exiting her chest as she grows cold and is thinking “Why?”

At this point, the dream flashes once more and this time, I see an overview of what happened.  However, in this case, I also see the little boy, hiding not but 100ft away, witnessing his mother being killed and scared to move for fear of being killed himself.

As mentioned above, the soldier in question died of guilt, begging to be forgiven for killing an innocent mother. As I write this, I sense his regret, and relief that his story has been told.  At the same time, I sense the anger from the mother as to why she had to die.

I will end this with a message to both spirits, if you don’t forgive, you won’t move on.

To my readers, as I have more of these, I will post them.  That is the only reason I can think of as to why I have them.